12 Things I hope my children never find out

Always tell the truth.

Be honest.

A very important life lesson that I want my children to grow up, standing by.

So why is that when we become parents, that motto that we teach our children, seems a teeny bit hypocritical, well, for me anyway?!

But purely only for my child’s own goodΒ or indeed, perhaps, for my own sanity!


1. I secretly eat chocolate behind the cupboard door and then give you a banana.

2. When I count to 5, I don’t really know what I’m going to do if you make me get there.

3. We lie to your face to make you eat things. You won’t instantly run faster, if you eat your chicken; yes I’ve hidden veg in the Bolognaise and no, water hasn’t got magic superman powers the minute you drink it.

4. Sometimes I skip through your bedtime story to get to the end quicker, if we have had it for the 1000th time.

5. It’s not blackcurrant in my glass.

6. If it’s been a long day, yes it really is 7pm already and most definitely not only 6.15pm.

7. When the ice cream van plays music, it’s not because it’s sold out of ice cream.

8. If you’re eating Beans on Toast it’s because I can’t be bothered to cook.

9. The local soft play isn’t really shut.

10. The nurse is not really putting brave soldiers in your arm to keep you strong, when you have your jabs.

11. I haven’t really got eyes in the back of my head and I can’t really see everything.

12. When I say ‘be good at preschool through the week and you’ll get 2 days off’, you will get those 2 days, anyway. It’s called the weekend.

I know that when you are old enough to read and tell the time, my little white lies will be void but until then, please excuse Mummy’s little fibs. They are all for your own good, or mine!!

Do you have any little fibs that you tell your children??

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0 thoughts on “12 Things I hope my children never find out

  1. Really funny; made me chuckle. Straight away from No1 I was like phew – I’m so glad I’m not the only one! xxx

  2. Ha! Brilliant!! My own mother’s list would also include 13. When you come into my room at 7am on a Saturday and we play the “what noises can you hear” game I’m just tricking you into going back to sleep.
    πŸ˜€ great post!
    Bobbyanne x x

  3. Beans on toast…not cookin?? Throw an egg on top and a couple of sausages (to put hair n you chest!) and you’ve got the finest meal in world cuisine. Mums, I love ’em!

  4. This is so funny and so spot on! I concur with most of them, especially the eating chocolate one, and the counting to five. I’m also always relieved when my daughter doesn’t ask me what’s going to happen after – I wouldn’t know what to say! Great post! x

  5. Love this, I wish I had thought of the weekend one before my eldest was old enough to know better, would have worked wonders when he was creating every day about going. x

  6. It’s so much harder to get away with the odd fib now my girls are 10 and 12…but that doesn’t stop me trying! Who knew ‘elderflower cordial’ was so fizzy!! ;o) hehe

  7. I often don’t even realise what a hypocrit I am until much later. I am genuinely indignant at being asked for cake at breakfast time, then I serve them up cornflakes and go and eat the last piece of cake in the kitchen. This is perfectly normal and valid, they woke me up at 5.30 and I. need. sugar.

  8. Ahhh such a great post, I really enjoyed reading it! I too hide in the pantry to have chocolate and sneak veg into the kids meals. I love the water giving superman powers – that’s a good one. And moms can’t cook every night! πŸ™‚ #kidscorner

  9. Oh my I can relate to this – the soft play isn’t really shut, hehee! And the chocolate…yup! Great post xx Thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

  10. hehe love this I am the secret a chocolate eater as well, also sometimes the tellys now working today because i just cannot cope with any more topsy and tim!!! thanks for linking up to #kidscorner

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