Me time. Mum time. What’s that?

A few weeks ago, I read many New Years resolution posts from other brilliant bloggers. If you read mine, you’ll remember me saying that the idea of ‘New Year, New You’ upset me somewhat, because I question what was so wrong with the old me.
You might remember me saying that instead of making a New Years resolution to change myself, I wanted to make a promise to be myself and do more of what makes me happy. Well today is apparently the day when most New Years resolutions are broken.

I’m just going to put it out there and say it.

It might make my mum sad if she reads this, but when I look in the mirror… I’m just a Mummy. I know that’s the best job in the world and that’s the only job I’ve ever wanted. But where’s Ali gone?

2 cesareans have taken a toll on my never-flat-in-the-first-place tummy, my eyes look heavy and lack sparkle. My roots make my features look dull.

My husband is amazing and always tells me I’m beautiful. I doubt him. I know I shouldn’t.

Every parent reading this will know that you always come last. Always. It’s expected. But it’s too important for us to not have some Me Time, surely that only makes us better parents. And we all want that, right?

Of course it’s hard when you have two young children; two step sons; a job that requires me to have to take work home in the evenings; a house that screams “Clean me”; a husband that I want to know feels appreciated and loved,….oh yes, and then there’s me….right at the bottom of the pile but frantically waving back at myself as if to say “Hey woman, don’t forget about me!”

Recently, a lovely friend text to ask if I had enjoyed the Joules bath goodies that she had kindly given me for Christmas. Enjoyed them? I hadn’t even had time to use them? How have I not had time to enjoy a long, relaxing soak in the bath? That’s crazy!

It just really highlighted to me the importance of looking after myself, valuing myself and giving myself some bloody credit. I read in a study that women have just over 15 minutes of ‘Me Time’ a day….hmmm… I don’t feel like I even have that, some days!

So I made a long awaited trip to the hairdressers, painted my nails, bought a juicer and locked the bathroom door to enjoy a long bubblebath. Wonders will never cease, I even managed to drink a hot cup of tea, and finish it!

I dont want it to sound like I do the lion share of the work because I don’t, my husband is fantastic. He’s just much more laid back than me and finds it easier to leave any worries or stresses at the door.

So for me or for you, these are my best Me Time-Mum Time moments:

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1. Have a bubblebath – minus the child screaming “Muuummy!” through the keyhole.

2. Read a magazine – trashy or intellectual.

3. Retail therapy – either online or the traditional visit to the shops method.

4. Listen to music – I’m a secret One D fan when I’m on my own. Have you listened to Night Changes? Wow it’s beautiful.

5. Eat chocolate – either the brown, black or white variety, whatever delights your taste buds.

6. Go out with friends – right, who’s up for meeting at Costa?

7. Go for a run – um, that’s supposed to be enjoyable, right?

8. Paint your nails – this always makes me feel pretty.

9. Watch a film or your favourite Soaps – my sister and close friends will now be saying… yeah right, Ali, football or darts more like.

10. Browse Social Media – Yay!

So to take a step closer to being the best person, mummy and wife that I can be, I’m off to have a hot bubble bath with a copy of Heat magazine, a bar of Dairy Milk, One D singing to me through the speakers and Twitter on my phone.

What do you do to get some Me Time?

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0 thoughts on “Me time. Mum time. What’s that?

  1. Well done for trying…I’m definitely feeling a long way down on the list at the moment…but if I must mark really terrible Year 10 assessments, then the ‘me’ time must wait! Bah humbug!

  2. 15 minutes a day? Ha! They must be counting sleep time :-).

    I always feel drab, like you my roots need doing and my eyes are dark. Right now though, I’d take sleep over shopping or a bubble bath any day.

    Apparently it gets easier, but I’d love to know when! Well done for grabbing some time for yourself. X

  3. I love your honesty Ali and I guess I am in the middle- I get 7.5 mins me time lol. I think as my babes get older they are getting more independent and are playing more together in their own secret way but yet they still want me near and to be honest I love that. I love the fact that they look round to make sure I am there and give a little wave that only I can see (5yr old) or a full on hug that pushes me over (2yr old). I play with Barbies and build duplo at the same time while thinking oh I need a hair cut, even my beauty sessions (which I only started in September and take place every six weeks) have not been alone. So for my 7.5 mins I will definitely work my way through your list because it is good for them to see mummy look after herself. Hugs x

    • Ah I love that. Yes for me it’s jigsaws, peppa pig and stacking rings that occupy my time at the moment. I do love it because I know it won’t last forever but I do need to give myself some time too. Let’s see if 7.5 mins can increase to 8!! Thanks hun xx

  4. I love this – I had put my life on hold- I told myself when I was pregnant that for the next ??? years I would dedicate myself to taking care of my baby – playing, nurturing – just being there. and I did – I didn’t have highlights until I was 38, I now love the fact that Em and I go to the hairdressers together, usually going for a coffee (hot chocolate + tea!) after – mummy and daughter time! Now that Em has left home, I have got time for me – but, and I know it’s important – I miss doing her washing, ironing, running errands for her – basically being ‘there’ for her!
    I don’t think I will ever have a time when I wish she was small again, but seeing her grow into a wonderful young lady, makes me so proud, and so my ‘me’ time is a chance to tell myself, that, actually – I did a pretty good job, and being able to have my ‘me’ time is a reflection of that!!

    Maybe we can meet up for a coffee or a meal – how many others would like to join in!!!
    Thanks Ali xx

    • Ah Pen, that’s really lovely and a beautiful way to look at it. I guess the lack of Me Time does mean that we are doing this for our children and nurturing them. I know I will miss it when they are older. Would love to meet for coffee! X

  5. I hear you I have to make a real effort to make sure I get some me time, everything else seems to get in the way! good to hear you managed to make some time for yourself it is sooo important thanks for linking up to #sundaystars x

  6. Oh Ali! I hear you loud and proud. It’s so tough trying to find time for ourselves and too easy to let ourselves slide into the background, however if we allow this to happen we are doing no one a favour.

    Our family deserve us at our BEST. Our children deserve happy confident mums who feel their BEST. Our partners deserve us to look our BEST (from time to time) and most important of all, WE deserve to feel fabulous, to feel like ourselves and at our BEST as much as we possibly can.

    It’s not easy no but it’s not impossible. Just 15 mins a day of ‘me time’ can make all the difference. Happy women make happier mums so spending a little ‘Me time’ on ourselves is a win win for everyone as far as I’m concerned. Well done you for noticing you are worth it 🙂 x

    P.S Great list of inspiring ideas too! x #sundaystars

    • Oh thank you so much for such a lovely, comforting comment. It’s so difficult isn’t it when we simply have to put everyone else before ourselves. But like you say, that impacts on everyone. Here’s to some more mum time! Me time! Xx

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